Lounge Room vs Kitchen
Battle Date: 23rd November 2012
We have six people wanting to play and since our larger games tend to suck hard and finish without a satisfying ending we came up with the radical idea of having two separate games running at once.
Today’s special rule:
Even though we were in different rooms the two games interacted in one annoying way. Each map had a 6 sided die that was rolled every five minutes, alternating between each team. One side would move the other map’s in game CP from one team to another, one side would allow you to create a random wall where ever you wanted on the other battlefield and the last four sides were to send one of two monsters to the other rooms map.
The Lounge Room battlefield consisted of Andrew, Graeme and Bjorn.
The kitchen battlefield players were myself, Bianca and my lovely wife Alkira who’s face is edited out below as it was a very unflattering shot.
Andrew appropriately chooses the Hobos. He gets things started showing the rest of us how easy it is to die, getting fragged by Bjorn in the head.
Graeme’s Rebel Alliance makes some very risky opening moves, moving forward six inches.
As a descendant of the Spanish Commander in the Mexican War of Independence Agustín de Iturbide, Bjorn appropriately chose his native team the Amigos.
In the kitchen Alkira gears up to frustrate everyone with her Mimes and their damn invisible walls.
This map features five capture-able areas which provide delicious CP and hard points for purchasable structures.
First blood is taken with honour by one of Bianca’s aliens who shot a bird out of the sky.
An Amigo bolts towards the Rebels in a speeder bike only for it to be blown to smithereens with an RPG. How he got that bike is up to your own racial profiling (not because he’s Mexican but because Bjorn is a ranga).
The kitchen team has rolled the 5min die to place a wall, cleverly in front of the monster breaking all eye contact.
The Amigos are a festive bunch. When they throw their hats on the ground, any enemy unit can’t help but dance, leaving them unable to attack or move (unless of course those a dancing moves). Andrew didn’t realise what this meant until his entire team was dancing around a single hat.
Over to the other board, and everything was starting to go pear shaped for my Storm Troopers. Bianca realises to win the game her aliens have to aim at the opposition. Death ensues.
Hypaxxus-8, the glorious leader of the Alien hoard now floats in the lake thanks to a zealous mime.
My first frag of the evening yields happy feelings:
While his comrades are getting owned, this Mime decides to make a break for the armour-enhancing burger….
…taking it the only way he knows how.
Graeme continues to shock his enemies with surprising tactics unpredictable moves.
I must say, the ladies did an excellent job with all the flowers. We all learnt a long time ago it’s more fun to break stuff that looks nice.
As it turns out, the best decision ever made by a person in a game of strategy was made by me in giving Darth Vader jump jets.
More Amigos fall hilariously…
…as do more stormies.
Now a funny thing happened, Bianca’s Aliens made a killing blow against my un-killable hero, Darth Vader. I then begged Bianca to spare his life and in return she took a storm trooper.
The Sacred Shopping Trolley does more than grant buffs to nearby Hobos. You can also fill it with dead bodies!
With enough bodies, they can activate their team special and unique vehicle the Garbage Truck.
While the Hobos go Super Saiyan, the Rebels stand around and gawk.
The 5 min die places both the Slenderman and SCP 173 on the Kitchen map…
…causing the usual side effects.
By this point Alkira has managed to rack up enough CP to buy a tripod.
Luke Skywalker here is showing astounding leadership.
Parked atop Mount Doom is an Amigo who, unbeknownst to him, will soon fire his hat out of that catapult.
Back in the Kitchen, Alkira’s tripod pilot gets a little sliced up, probably because of light sabers and the like.
Making love not war, very briefly, Bjorn buys a medic pad and resurrects his hero.
Also making love, not war, are these two employees inside the McDonalds.
You think a crocodile with a cannon strapped to his back would be able to aim properly. Not Bianca’s! Her croc’s shell flops calmly onto the ground spreading glorious fire among her units.
The lounge room battlefield is also heating up via exploding garbage cans fired out of Andrew’s fancy new truck…
…Graeme’s Rebels insist on getting in on the dying action despite being relatively safe on their mountain. The Garbage truck was just outside of their range, yet the fire damage still managed to reach them.
Everybody hates Mimes. They are annoying for two reasons: They can create and move invisible wall where ever they want. They are French.
Below you can see the Slenderman stalking the Mime hero Le Dink the Clown. Le Dink survives being taken by being just out of sight.
Fun fact: The hobo in control of the sacred shopping trolley is the team hero.
Andrew’s incredible hobo comeback poses a significant problem to Bjorn. How does he get his sombrero on top of a moving space ship? I’m sure every great general has asked himself that question at least once in his life…
The range was a suck so Bjorn decided to go for the ol’ physically firing the catapult trick:
Yeah it failed.
There were many fails this game, mostly by Graeme who kept rolling 1’s on a 10 sided die. We counted at least six.
The hell of war ravages without partiality. Once brothers in spleegh (that is of course alien blood) the once mighty probing Alien Race turn to shooting off each others legs.
Alkira keeps the heat up by spawning a spider droid.
Each hero has one special ability. Darth Vader intimidates units so they are unable to move.
I’d say there is an unspoken rule in Brikwars that everyone seems to understand: Why shoot at something when you can crash land into it instead?
I’m sure the Hobos got their CP worth out of that venture.
Next up, Graeme shows us that Luke Skywalker isn’t completely useless by using the forks…
…to calmly and carefully place Andrew’s garbage truck on top of an unsuspecting Amigo.
Sadly the Amigo couldn’t take the weight of the truck and was smooshed in the most horrific way possible.
As you can see in the picture below, Bianca finds herself in a pickle.
Since Alkira’s last tripod pilot was sliced up while still in the cockpit, she now decides to take a few precautions.
The Garbage truck rampage continues, claiming Luke Skywalker.
Lucha El Vencido makes sure he’s keeping an eye on SCP 173.
As scary as Jump Jets Darth Vader is, he suddenly gets less formidable when he slices up his own rockets…
…Hurtling him sharply to the edge of the map.
Graceful in defeat, my last unit retreats to rethink his life.
Like war heroes of old, this is a true story of valour, courage and endurance. The last remaining homeless minifig slowly claws his way out of the just destroyed Garbage Truck. On fire and barely alive he does what any hobo seeking medical attention would do…shoot his own legs off with a cross bow.
The same rebel that rocketed the Garbage truck shows no mercy to the hobo and blows the crap out of him.
Disgusted that the Rebel alliance would do such a thing, Bjorn catapults his Amigo towards ground zero expecting to hold a ‘peace summit’.
Unfortunately the peace talks were over before they even began.
Now the last two units face off with guns and maybe some shooting resulting in the winner being…
Graeme and the Rebel Alliance!
Final look at the map:
This games manoeuvres:
It’s not over yet though! The Kitchen game is still raging forth. The Mime tripod gets its legs destroyed with the top half escaping into the sky.
I get my Storm Trooper back, I’m unsure of what happened to his arms.
Alkira thought it was great she had a ship now, but soon realises her laser wasn’t ranged enough to hit ground units. So she did the only thing one would expect, she crashed the ship into the Aliens.
Two survived the wreckage, ready to avenge their fallen team mates.
The only unit close enough to take their anger out on was my Storm Trooper. I think I recall begging again to save this unit, trying to appeal to Bianca’s sense of decency. She agreed to spare his life, but only after attempting a shot and missing.
Alkira didn’t spare him though, using Le Dink’s special ability to mime weapons.
Ah the French, all of them homicidal clowns.
Darth Vader final goes on the rampage I’ve wanted since the start of the game.
But he is soon sniped in the head by the last Alien…
…who soon gets shot by Le Dink.
End! Here’s what the battlefield looked like at the end:
The McDonalds wasn’t torn apart like I had originally wanted. Bianca probably would have moved more if she didn’t get closed in.
So in the end, did the Lounge Room win or was it the Kitchen? You decide, follow the link below to the heated debate.